In The Past

In the past I have done some thing I am not proud of and have hurt people I cared about in the process, but it was just that in the past! For years I have wanted more and more, not only in my heart but in my financial state as well! Finally after years of just going through the motions I have devoted myself to furthering my relationship with Christ and I am loving every minute of it! Though it seems every time that I get closer to Christ, Satan comes along and tries to make other things get you down! Right now I am second guessing myself, I had two driving jobs offered to me basically within days of each other and one of them allowed me to be home in the evenings and the other I would've been gone M-F and would be home saturday and sunday! The driving job was only supposed to be a stepping stone to me getting back into sales. I really miss selling insurance and I feel inferior as a truck driver and very unchallenged! I also feel like I am wasting the talent that God gave me and that my knowledge is just going to waste as well. You know this pretty head of mine needs to be put to good use! I love the challenge of capturing the sale it is really overwhelming and exciting! I was reading my bible as I have been almost daily (which is a huge improvement for me...thanks Chris for brainwashing me lol) and I came across a familiar verse Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart." King David had pretty much all his heart desired and more. He was a faithful man of God and yet he sinned and asked God's forgiveness and God honored that and David was one of the most successful men of the Bible. So what does that mean for the rest of us? I have Jesus, but I want to be able to provide better for my family as well! I feel like I am not succeeding in that and it is really bothering me! Diana for far too long has had this huge burden on her shoulders and I feel bad about it! I am kind of lost in this decision and Diana gave me her opinion and it was not what I expected, nor what I was wanting to here! I know it is tough for her to back me up on a decision like this but the answer she gave me on is one I have heard before and after you hear it so many times you really just stop caring what the outcome is going to be! If that is what God has intended for us than so be it! Who are we to try and change what He has in store for us! He has a plan for all of us and it is up to us to pray with him to determine what it is!